Slave to this love

SERIOSLY!!! GET OFF YOU FUCKING ASSES AND PUT OUT THE NEW KERRANG ALREADY!! WTF The Special Greenday issue has been there for months

I WANT MY VILLE!!!!!

 

Oh and they wont oder Big cheese for me or Rocksound.

 

WTF!!!!

 

Merry Xmas to me!!

 

 

*breaths*

1. Being Gay Is Not Natural
And real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning, tattoos, piercings and silicon breasts...

2. Gay Marriage Will Encourage People To Be Gay
In the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing Gay Marriage Will Open The Door To All Kinds Of Crazy Behavior
People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. Lamps are next.

4. Straight Marriage Has Been Around A Long Time And Hasn't Changed At All
Hence why women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight Marriage Will Be Less Meaningful If Gay Marriage Were Allowed
And we can't let the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage be destroyed.

6. Straight Marriages Are Valid Because They Produce Children
So therefore, gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our population isn't out of control, our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously Gay Parents Will Raise Gay Children
Since, of course, straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay Marriage Is Not Supported By Religion
In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children Can Never Succeed Without A Male And A Female Role Model
Which is exactly why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay Marriage Will Change The Foundation Of Society; We Could Never Adapt To New Social Norms
Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

 

To me... Love sees no color or sex.. when you love you love.. your heart feels it.. your soul knows it..

I love a girl right now... and there is nothing wrong with it!!!

 

GAY DOOM: The protagonist arrives at the tower while smoking a fag and with his skater best friend in tow. The skater ollie's off of the dragons nose, and when he doesn't land the trick, tosses his skateboard at the dragon's head in a fit of rage. The dragon is effectively killed as the protagonist watches and giggles like a love-sick teenager. The princess then lets down her hair to the protagonist and his best friend, who climb up and violate EACH OTHER in the most sensual way, leaving the princess hot and bothered and praying for a threesome.  ♥ 

 

LOL

Yup.. I did it again... I'm such a good Vammer..

 

 

 

Painful days turned into lonely weeks, long lonely weeks turned into hate filled months, and that turned into forgetful years.

Slowly memories faded and the two boys began to forget each other.

***********************************************************

Bam could never forget the lovely face of the Fin; he looked in the locket every night before laying his head on the old tattered pillow that for one night his loves head rested on. He couldn't count how many times he had pulled it out of the trash, screaming at his Mother to never go in his room, never throw his stuff away. He just couldn't part with that pillow and the night he realized it no longer smelled like the older boy he cried himself to sleep, all memories of the Fin had faded, all but his face in that one small picture. He couldn't hear his dorky laugh anymore, couldn't remember what his lips tasted like, his hair, skin, voice, and smell, it was all gone.

Day by day he went on with his life, skating and becoming a pro at it, everyone wanted the young American skater from Westchester and soon he even stopped looking in the locket, stop wearing it, stopped trying to remember. He wanted to forget, and he did.

He found other people to pass time with, other loves, or so he thought, but in the end he just used them, it was all he knew, to use for his own needs. Boys and girls came and went, never filling the hole inside him, a hole he couldn't even remember why he had.

His popularity and crazy videos of outrageous stunts and stupidity soon caught the attention of a TV show called Mtv, Bam knew Mtv, watched it all the time and when he got a call from his manger that they wanted to talk to him about putting the younger boy and his band of miscreants on TV Bam leaped at the offer and soon was a new found rising star.

************************************************************************

Ville found going to school helped him pass the time. He did start that band with his small group of friends and in no time become popular in their hometown.

Ville had forgotten about the sweet boy he had left behind and never thought of him again. He found pretty little things to play with, to fuck through his bed late at night, he was never without someone in his bed, and they all wanted a piece of the new sexy front man. Ville always thought he was the one using, but he was the one being used, his bed was always empty the next day and he liked it that way, yet every morning he would wake to an empty sadness that would wash over him, claim him for a few painful minutes then fade away. He always thought something was missing; he wasn't whole and couldn't understand why.

Soon his little band had gained such popularity after doing a remake of a well liked song called wicked game that they were asked to play a few local festivals and the area magazines ate them up. Ville had become the new face of dark romantic goth rock, the new sexy front man that all the girls wanted to bed and most of the boys got too. He always felt like he was searching for something, something that he thought he could find in the person he would bring to bed each night, but in the end he was left even more empty and slowly sank into depression, soon only finding comfort in the dark fluids that were held in a wide assortment of oddly shaped bottles, then nothing mattered but music and his next drunk fuck.

************************************************************************

Back and forth, Bam skated on his own ramp, in his own backyard, on his property and still he was missing something. He skated up the side of the ramp and slid back down on his knees and just laid there gazing up into the large tree above him as his board rolled past him and stopped. His mind was racing with thoughts of a long forgotten face, a face he could almost picture. He found out that he was going to be doing a skate demo in a far off country, Finland to be exact, and he felt his heart twinge, something it hadn't done in a long time.

He felt a tear run down the side of his face and quickly brushed it away, he couldn't figure out why but something inside of him was not right.

"Hey Bam Bam!" his brother called from the house, you better come in and get some sleep, we lave in 6 hours.

"Finland," se sighed, grabbing his board and heading to the house. He wracked his brain as he slowly went to his room. That face kept drifting through his mind, he could almost see it, almost reach out and touch it, green eyes, all he could see were sad green eyes..

Finally making his way to his bed he flopped back onto in with a groan, as he did something fell to the floor behind it. Wondering what nasty, hard piece of food had been stuck behind his bed he moved to the floor and peaked under. It was dark and dusty. Old bread and dirty socks were pushed out of the way along with some things that even Bam wasn't sure what they were, till he saw it, a glint of something silver. He reached for it, feeling the smooth metal at his finger tips he pulled it out and opened his hand.

Suddenly a wave of memories hit him, it made him tremble.

**Memory Flash**

"Ville… I…" Bam lifted his eyes back to Ville's, " put it on for me?"

Ville smiled and leaned down, capturing Bam's lips in a quick heated kiss, "turn around,"

Slowly Bam turned holding his most precious gift out to be placed forever around his neck by the one person who meant the most to him in this world.

He watch Ville's large hands hold the necklace out and wrap it around his neck, his hand reaches up, holding the locket to his chest as Ville places a soft kiss on the back of his neck.

**End Memory**

"Ville," Bam gasped, moving his thumb over the small heart shaped locket. "Oh Ville, how could I have forgotten you?" Slowly he opened the locket and felt tears sting his eyes as he gazed at the old faded pictures, his heart ached and he crawled on to his bed.

That night Bam cried himself to sleep once again, his body buzzed with a mixture of love and hate, would he see the Fin again? Would Ville remember him? Would he still love him? Bam drifted off, the only joy he found was that he might see his beloved Ville again.

When Bam woke in the morning he came face to face with his brother, a sad expression on his face.

Bam," Jess said softly, "are you ok?"

Bam cleared his throat and sat up. "yea, why?"

Jess held out his hand, in his palm laid the locket. "I found this on the floor," he said handing it back to his little brother.

"Oh, umm, yea I'm fine," Bam said taking the locket back, looking sown at it and sighing. " I had forgotten about this," he sighed, closing it before pushing it into his pocket.

"You're going to Finland you know," his brother said, resting his hand on Bam's knee, " Maybe you'll… Maybe Ville will be there,"

Bam smiled and got up from bed. "yea, maybe. But it's been so long, I doubt he'll even remember me."

"Maybe you should look for him," Jess said watching his brother pack for the trip.

"Jess, I really don't want to talk about it ok? I would rather forget again," he sighed and lugged his bag out the door.

Soon Bam found him self on a plane heading off to Finland, memories of the tall Fin flooded his mind, made his stomach flip and his heart burn, 'would he see Ville again?'

"Dude! That guy looks like a chic," he heard one of his friends say from behind him, "a really hot chic."

Bam being bi wanted to see the picture and peaked over the seat.

"Let me see this hot guy," he chirped grabbing the magazine and flopping back in his seat. He flipped through the pages until bright green eyes caught his attention. He stopped and flipped back a few pages. "OH MY GOD!" he screeched, there before his eyes was Ville, he looked older and sexier than Bam remembered. His eyes were lined with thick lines of kohl, his lips were cherry red and his hair was shot and curly. Bam groaned looking over his long body, still thin and pale, he gasped when he saw a bit of ink peaking out from under his pants, Ville had gotten a tattoo and Bam longed to see it. Suddenly he became very aware of his pants growing tighter and smiled evilly to himself before heading to the bathroom with the magazine under his arm.

Locking the door, Bam turned and looked down at the picture of the Fin.

"God you're fucking beautiful Ville," he moaned feeling his cock swell and press against his jeans. Slowly Bam let his hand trail down his chest, closing his eyes, he imagined it was the Fin's long fingers caressing him. Moving his hand to his pants, he popped the button, letting his hand wrap around his length and pumping it hard. With in a few minutes he was panting, he peaked at the picture on the counter again and called out the older boys name for the first time in years as he cam hard into his fist.

Slowly the morning sun rose, breaking through the trees and into the boy's bedroom window, shining down on the sleeping body stretched across the bed.

The light crept up the boy's body; bending and molding to his shape, it moved over his chest as it slowly rose and fell. Bite marks and scratches were visible on the boys tan skin, remnants of the nights passionate activates.

He groaned, bring his arm over his eyes as the sun tried to wake him. Slowly the fog of sleep cleared, he smiled and rolled over, reached across his bed and found the spot next to him to be empty and cold. He furrowed his brow, pouted slightly and opened his eyes. The sight before him made him want to cry, yes his bed was empty and the Fin was no where in the room, even his clothes were gone. Suddenly the boy felt used.

Bam pulled the pillow to him that the Fin had used, cuddled it to his chest and began to tremble, tears pricked his eyes and he let them fall shut again pinching the tears from them, letting the wetness streak down his cheeks and soak into the pillow.

'Had Ville used him?' he thought to himself, 'were all the sweet words and gentle touches just away to get what he wanted?' he clutched the pillow tightly as the pain in his heart spread through his body and he sobbed.

********************************************************************************************

Ville breathed in deep, letting the crisp morning air fill his burning lungs as he wiped at his wet cheeks. He had no idea what he was going to do, he loved the younger boy, wanted to be by his side for the rest of his life, if there was anyway he could take Bam with him he would.  He felt his heart sink into the pit of his stomach; he knew he had to tell the boy he was leaving, that he'd be gone for months, and possibly longer.

"Fuck!" he sobbed, dropping his troubled head to his knees, wrapping his arms around them as he cried. 'What was he going to do'?

The Fin wiped at his face, sniffling, he put the dead butt of his cigarette in the can next to him, he was to upset to even smoke it and just watched it burn.  He cleared his throat and stood up, took in one more soothing breath and walked back into the house.

*******************************************************************************************

Bam sat on his bed, the memories of the night filled his head, made his chest burn, again he felt sick, but this time there would be no overwhelming feeling of exticy chancing it from his tummy. Quickly he ran to the bathroom with his hands clasped over his mouth, making it to the toilet in time to empty himself. Sobs wracked his body as he slumped over the rim of the bowel; his tears joined the contents of his stomach as he reach up and flushed his shame away.

**********************************************************************************************

Ville walked slowly towards Bam's room, he shuffled his feet, head hung low and paused outside the door.

"God, I don't want to do this," he said to himself, running his long fingers through his fuzzy mess of curls and opened the door.  The bed was empty. Ville felt a slight panic grip him, 'Where did he go?' he mentally asked himself as he gazed around the room. 'Did he wake and realize this was wrong after all?' 

The Fin sighed and smiled slightly when he hear the shower turn on, "Thank God!" he said out loud, walked across the room and flopped down on the bed wincing when his face stuck to the wet pillow. "Eww!" he giggled, "Bam must have drooled in his sleep." Tossing the damp pillow aside he laid his head on the dry one, closing his eyes as the scent of the younger boy filled his senses, he always found it odd that a boy would smell like lilacs and vanilla but Bam did and Ville loved it. Soon the deep breaths he was taking maid him tired and his eyes slid shut, a small smile graced his face, one last long, deep breath and he drifted off to sleep.

*******************************************************************************************

Curled into a small ball, in the steam filled bathroom, the younger boy cried under the spray of hot water. He laid there till the water turned cold and his tears had washed away before shutting the water off and stepping out on to the cold tile floor. He wrapped a towel around his waist and tossed one over his head, drying his hair as he walked back into his room and sat on his bed.

With a heavy sigh he pulled the towel off his head and threw it at the wall, before flopping back on his bed.

Bam froze for a second when he laid across something hard and it moved, he jumped and flipped over quickly.

"Oh my God," he gasped, covering his mouth so the excited squeal that was to fallow wouldn't wake the dozing Fin.  Bam felt silly for what he had been thinking, Ville wouldn't ever leave him, he loved him.  The younger boy moved slowly up the bed to lay next to the sleeping Fin, resting on his elbow, he let his fingers dance softly across the pale skin of Ville's cheek, listening to the quiet purr of the older boys snore. He wanted so badly to pull the fin to him, hold him so tight he couldn't breathe, kiss him till every inch of that creamy, milky colored skin had been touch by his lips.

Bam's chest tightened and he smiled as the Fin began to wake; he yawned and stretched his long lithe frame across the bed, tossing one arm and leg over the younger boy's body as he settled back into the bed. Bam couldn't hold back any longer and pounced the drowsy Fin.

"Oh Willa, I love you!" Bam couldn't help but cry as he curled around the shocked and still sleepy older boy. He nuzzled his face against the Fin's neck, breathing in the smokey smell of his hair, realizing he must have been out side smoking when he woke.

Once Ville realized it was Bam who had jumped him he melted back into the bed, wrapping his long arms around the boy he kissed his cheek and nuzzled him.

"I love you too Bammie," he cooed, letting his hands slip down the boys bare back, his fingers moving slowly over his muscles till he cupped the boys round ass, he squeezed.  He frowned when the boy giggled, he knew he was going to miss that sweet little giggle.  The feel of his hair against his cheek when ever they hugged.  His soft lips, the way his skin raised up after the boys touch. He felt a tear run down his cheek and buried his face in Bam's damp hair, His chest shuddered and he took a shaky breath as he felt the younger boy move.

Bam smiled brightly as he looked up at the Fin's face but that was short lived.

"Are you crying Willa?" the boy asked, pushing a few stray hair off Ville's forehead. "Please don't cry.

The Fin turned his face from the boy and gazed out the window.

"Ville?" The smaller boy asked, folding his arms across the older boy's chest and gazing at him.

"Bam," Ville sighed, "I have something to tell you."

"What is it Willa?" Bam asked, a bit a fear in his voice.  His blue eyes darted back and forth between the two sad green pools before him, his brow furrowed and he sat up a bit. "Ville? What is it? You're scaring me."

Ville mentally slapped himself.  Why didn't he just keep his mouth shut till the last day?  He could have still had two beautiful days with Bam. But he knew why he chose now to tell the boy. He hoped they could work things out, find a way to still be together while he was away, that when he left he would know that Bammie would always be here waiting for him.

With a heavy sigh Ville push himself up causing Bam to sit up and move next to him. Ville pulled a smoke out of his pack and lit it, taking the first relaxing hit and blowing it out before turning to Bam.

"You remember when I went to that open house for school back home?" he asked, flipping the cigarette between his fingers. He looked into Bam's eyes and watched his face droop and his eyes sparkle with tears.

"W-Willa, No," he said, his voice shaking, he stared into the Fin's eyes silently begging him not to say what he knew he was going to.

Ville sighed and leaned his head back against the wall, pulling the smoke from the corner of his mouth. "Bam, I.." he didn't get to finish, Bam cut him off.

"FUCK YOU!" the younger boy shouted as he jumped from the bed, "Don't I mean anything to you? What about last night?"

The Fin watched as Bam paced the room, mumbling to himself, flinging his arms up into the air before he punched the wall next to the door.

"Bammie, Please?" Ville gasped, jumping form the bed and walking towards the shaking boy. He placed his hand on the younger boy's shoulder, "Bammie? Listen I'm.."

NO! Bam screamed as he turned around, his little fist struck the older boy hard, knocking him down to the floor. "Don't you ever call me that again! You have lost the right too"

The Fin stared up at the boy, wiping his bleeding lip, his eyes watered and a flood of tears ran down his cheeks. "No, Bam Please, Listen to me."

"I'll never listen to you again, you used me, had your fun and now you're leaving me." Bam angrily wiped at his tears, he hated that he was crying, "I fucking hate you!" he screamed, "I don't ever want to see you again!"

"Bammie no, you don't mean that!" The older boy cried, grabbing the very hand that hit him and nuzzled against it.

"Don't Call Me That!" Bam growled, yanking his hand away from the sobbing Fin, "Leave!"

"But Baby, I'll be back. Please don't do this," Ville begged as he stood up, "I'm not leaving you!" The older boy took a few steps forward, reached out and pulled the boy into a hug, "Please? I don't want to loose you."

At first the smaller boy struggled, pushed against the Fin's chest, beat on it, but it was no good, Ville had his arms locked around him and sobbed into his hair. Soon the smaller boy stopped fighting and cried.

"Why are you leaving me? Don't you love me anymore?"

"Oh God Bam, No. I love you so much, I want to be with you always." The Fin whimpered, stroking the boys soft brown curls, taking in the way his hair smelled, the way it curled around his fingers so he wouldn't forget.

"Then why?" Bam whispered, leaning back to look up into the older boys face, "just stay with me then, Willa please?" Bam shook his head and buried his face against the Fin.

"I… I can't Bammie," the taller boy whispered, letting his hands travel along the boys back, "I want to go to this school, I have to go."

Suddenly he was pushed back with great force and fell to the floor again; he landed hard and looked up at the smaller boy in shock.  Bam stood before him, fists clenched, head down. His blue eyes flashed with fire behind his hair as he growled.

"GET OUT!"

****************************************************************************************

Later that day Ville found himself sitting alone in the park, resting up against the very tree where it had all started. He sobbed quietly, remembering their first kiss, how cute the younger boy had looked as he tried to tell him the way he felt and now he would also remember the way the boy looked as his heart broke. Ville left his heart back at that house, left it with the only one he would ever truly love.

********************************************************************************************

The next two days went by painfully slow, for both boys. When ever Ville would call the younger boy would just hang up on him. If he showed up, Bam locked his door and blared his music to drown out the Fins pleading voice.

On the last day Ville came to the boy's house and was lucky enough to have an unexspecting Bam open the door.

They both stood there, staring at each other, Bam's eyes raged with hate and the Fin's with pain.

"What are you doing here?" the younger boy said with hate on his tongue.

"I… I wanted to say good bye before I left," the Fins whimpered, and tell you I love you."

"Yea, well bye." With that Bam slammed the door in the older boys face.

Bam stood looking at the door for a few minutes, inside he hoped the older boy would knock again, if he only knocked again he would fall into his arms and everything would be ok but the second knock never came, the Fin left and Bam's heart broke forever.

"Fuck you!" The young boy screamed at the door, "Fuck you!" then he quickly turned and ran up the stares to his room, slamming the door he fell onto his bed in tears. "I hate you." He cried, "Damn it Ville, Why did this have to happen?"  He sat up, clutching the little silver heart to his chest, the pain was too much for him, and he thought for sure he would die.

With a surge of anger he ripped the necklace from around his neck and hurled it at the wall with a heart breaking scream. Upon hitting the wall the little sliver heart popped open and fell to the floor.

Bam wiped his eyes and stared at it, he didn't know it was a locket. Slowly he got up off the bed and made his way to the necklace on the floor, there on each side of the heart was a picture, one of him and one of the Fin.

Bam fell to the floor in tears what had he done? He just threw away the best thing to happen to him. He spent the rest of the night gazing at the open locket in his hand, letting the tears pour down his face, he would never forget the one he let slip through his fingers because of his stupidity.

****************************************************************************************

The Fin let out a big sigh as he boarded the plane, he looked back over his shoulder, hoping to see the younger boy running towards him begging him to stay. If he would have asked just one more time, just once more, he would have stayed. Instead the older boy stepped onto a plane and blew a last kiss to the boy his heart belonged to.  Soon the plane was in the air and Ville watched West Chester vanish beneath the clouds.  He closed his eyes and told the younger boy one last time that he loved him and said goodbye.

************************************************************************************

**** CRIES EYES OUT****

READ 3 FIRST!!!

*hands you a towel to clean yourself up with after you read* *WINK*

 

Bam looked at his brother, his head cradled to the older boys chest, a huge smile played across Jess's face, the boy smiled turning his head to snuggle it into Ville's warmth, "I love you so much Willa, I'm so glad you're back."
The older boy looked down as Bam pulled back, gazing into his eyes. A large hand found the younger boys cheek, lightly stroking a few curls out of the way before cupping the cheek and placing a whisper soft kiss on his nose.
The Fins shuddered with joy as Bam giggled and blushed; his dark lashes hid his blue eyes and within that split second Ville never want to see those eyes hidden again. His wish was granted when the big blue orbs busted open again. The older boy felt his heart stop and he held back a moan as their eyes met again.
"Willa, you have to tell me how it went, what was it like, what did you do, met anyone, make new friends, see old ones…"
Whoa! Bammie, slow down," the Fin laughed, ruffling the younger boy's hair. "I'll tell you anything you like, just ask one question at a time."
Jess watched, smiling as the pair walked off. Ville's large hand resting on the small of Bam's back, Bam held tight to the older boys waist, giggling like a girl as they walked out the front door together again.
Each day the two got to spend together was a blessing, even outside of school they had separate lives.
Bam being the little skate brat he was, soon got noticed and found out he would soon have to go one skate tours and do demos. The thought of having to leave his sexy Fin behind almost made him say no, but Ville talked him into doing it, saying it was a good idea, that Bam was the best and would make tons of money. Bam always knew he was the best in the older boys eyes and the only reason he cared about money was so he could shower the Fin with gifts, take him places he had never been. So with those thoughts in his head he signed the dotted line.
Ville had reasoning behind talking Bam into doing it, he knew it would help distract his young love and help Bam deal with him leaving for school in the fall and that day was quickly approaching.
Sooner than he had hoped the day had come, Jess had made plans for Ville to stay at his house for the weekend while their parents were gone to visit family. He knew this was the Fins last weekend here and wanted his brother and Ville to have some time to be together.

Ville silently paced Bam's room, he wracked his brain trying to come up with the best way to tell him he was leaving, God how he wished he didn't have too but he really wanted this, he wanted to be a singer, to start up a good band with his friends back home and when he did he could take his Bammie away from their separate lives and live together.
He slumped down on the boys bed, almost in tears, his heart was breaking, bleeding. Letting his head fall into his hands, he tugged at his hair, he hated himself right now, hated everything, everything but the boy singing happily in the shower. He was gonna have to break the heart of that sweet boy, he knew Bam would see it as him ripping it out and stomping it under foot. He took a deep breath and pulled out a smoke before going to the open window and lighting up. He never heard the water shut off or the bathroom door open.
Bam stood, dripping wet, a towel draped lightly around his hips, gazing at the outline of the taller boy as he stood in front of the window. He watched the Fin bring his cigarette to his lips, watch those lips wrap lightly around the end, his cheeks hollowed and he sucked. The younger boy shuddered, remembering what it was like to have those soft pink lips slipping down around him, he felt himself blush and grow hard just thinking about it. He bit his lip and moved slowly towards the smoking Fin, taking care not to make any noise. Once he was right behind him he tapped the taller boy on his shoulder and dropped his towel.
Ville jumped and turned to see who had tapped him, he didn't think it would be what he saw. His mouth fell open and his eyes grew large at the sight before him. There stood Bam, his bright blue eyes gazed up at him, wet curls clung to his red cheeks as he chewed his bottom lip.
"Hello Willa," the younger boy purred, as he watched Ville's eyes drag painfully slow down his wet body. He could almost feel his eyes on him, it made his already hard cock ache and his whole body flushed.
"Oh My God," Ville gasped, blindly feeling for the cup behind him he was putting his butts out in. "B-Bam, what are you doing?" The Fin's eyes glanced past the naked body before him to the door, taking note that it was shut and locked. Bam had plans.
Ville stumbled backwards as the boy took a step towards him. He would have fallen to the floor if it wasn't for the wall being behind him, which he hit hard, knocking his already escaping breath from his body.
"Bammie?" he gasped as the smaller boy pressed his heated body against him, instantly he could feel the warmth coming from the younger boys flesh as his t-shirt sucked up the moisture from Bam's skin.
"Your shirt is wet," Bam whispered, letting his eyes fall between them, "I think it needs to come off."
Ville could only nod as Bam fisted his shirt and pulled it up over his head, letting his eyes roll back as the boys still damp skin slid against him and honey sweet lips captured his in a heated kiss.
Bam's hands moved over the Fin's skin, goose bumps radiated out from his touch making the older boy moan and shiver. Bam pulled back and licked his lips, savoring the taste of the Fins smokey mouth.
With out a word said between them they knew what was going to happen tonight and they both wanted it.
Slowly Ville pushed the younger boy back towards the bed, gripping the back of his hair, feeling the water trail down his arm as he found the sweet spot on Bam's neck.
The smaller boy whimpered, wrapping his arms desperately around the Fin.
"I need you Willa," Bam groaned, his finger tips digging into Ville's back as he was slowly lower on to the bed. "Please, oh God please, let me feel you."
Ville released the younger boy, eyeing the red patch of skin on his neck, letting his hands slip down his chest. He had never seen such beauty in his life. Laying here on this bed was an angel, his angel.
"Baby," Ville whispered, "you are so perfect, how am I lucky enough to have you?" 'And damned enough to have to leave you' he thought to himself. "Tonight I'll make you mine."
Bam slid his hands up above his head as he watch the older boy drop to his knees in front of him. The Fins hands slid over his hips, lightly dragging his nails down his thighs before grabbing his knees and pushing his legs apart. The smaller boy moaned and tightly held on to the blanket above his head. With wide eyes he watch Ville lay soft kisses up the inside of his thighs, it was growing harder and hard not to cry out. To take a hold of the Fin's long dark curls the were now tickling his leg and shove his face into his crotch where he wanted those lips to be.
With out warning Ville slid his hands under Bam's knees and pushed his legs up.
"Hold them," The older boy said, looking up the smaller one's body to meet his gaze.
Bam nodded and wrapped his arms around his knees. He was shaking, he heard that the first time hurts really bad, but he also heard that is the best orgasm ever and since Bam had only had one orgasm not by his own hand, he knew this was going to blow his mind and he thanked any God that would listen that this beautiful angel between his legs was the one to give it to him.
Shrieking, Bam gripped the bed tight and jerked his hips, Ville had grabbed his throbbing cock and pulled it between his legs, pushing them shut so that he was free to lick any part of the younger boys arousal that he wanted.
Before Bam could say a word there was something hot and wet slipping down his length, moving lower, he moaned and shuddered as warm lips opened against his sack and sucked lightly.
"Oh God Willa," he panted, " yes. Oh yes!" Soon the lips moved lower, the wet heat was back and flicking lightly over his puckered hole.
The younger boy cried out, his legs quivered as the Fin pushed his tongue into him. He felt that warm feeling spread over his body again, it made his toes curl and his body break out into a sweat.
Ville moaned, feeling the ring of muscle constrict around his tongue, lightly ghosting his fingers over the boys leaking tip, moving them down the shaft till it was slick with precum before wrapping his long fingers around it and pumping it softly.
Bam pinched his eyes shut, tossed his head from side to side, biting his lip to stifle the moans that were seeping from deep with in his chest. His whole body reacted to the older boys relentless attack, his head buzzed, his heart beat wildly against his ribs, threatening to burst out of his chest.
"Ville, Please, I can't stand it!" he whimpered, feeling a deep knotting in his belly. "do it Willa, please. Just do it."
He groaned as the fin removed his tongue and nipped lightly at his round ass, still stroking the boys length.
"Baby are you sure you're ready for this?" Ville asked, kissing the underside of Bam's thighs, smiling against his skin as he moaned and shook.
Bam nodded rapidly, panting and clutching his knees to his chest.
"Yes, oh fuck yes," he growled, making Ville moan.
"It's gonna hurt love," the older boy said, before flicking his tongue across the boys dribbling tip, letting his eyes roll back as Bam's flavor spread over his tongue. " I don't want to hurt you babe."
Willa, Pleeeease," the boy whimpered, his voice sounding needy and dark. "I don't care how much it hurts, I just want share this with you."
Ville felt a tear slip down his cheek, he loved Bam so much, his heart swelled and he kissed the boys tip lightly before sucking a finger into his mouth, making sure to coat it well with spit.
" I love you Bammie," he whispered, before slowly sinking a finger deep into the boys entrance.
Bam gasped, and tried to pull away from the intrusion, making Ville quickly pull his finger out.
"I'm sorry Bammie, God I'm sorry," the Fin gasped, pulling the younger boys legs down and holding him tightly, Stroking his damp hair as he rocked him in his arms.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Oh God I'm so sorry" the older boy whimpered, a few tears fell from his eyes, falling on to Bam's shoulders.

Bam pulled back slightly, lovingly looking up into Ville's sad green eyes. Reaching out, the smaller boy pushed the hair out of the Fin's face, using his thumbs as he cupped Ville's flushed cheeks he dried his tears.

"I love you baby, so much," Bam whispered before moving up to capture the Fin's slightly swollen lips with his own.

Ville felt his body shake as the boys lips brushed against his own, he pinched his eyes shut, letting more tears slip from his eyes as Bam parted his lips with a soft pink tongue, claiming the inside of the older boys mouth.

Bam's soft warm tongue moved slowly, slipping under the Fin's lip, tonguing the small gap between his front teeth, loving the way he made the older boy gasp and shudder. Pulling away, he let his hands slide down the long column of Ville's neck, continuing down his chest, raking his short nails over pale skin and peaked nipples. He rocked his hips forward, crushing both of their twitching members between them, making them both cry out in pleasure.</SPAN>

 The smaller boy wrapped his arms around Ville, letting his tongue dance across his shoulder, crushing their bodies together, gasping as the older boy slipped his hands under his ass and stood up.

Bam's head fell back as Ville's lips moved over his jaw and down his neck, nipping at the already tender skin from his last assault. Bam groaned and rolled his hips down, feeling them slide together, slick with each other's fluid.

"Willa, try again," he moaned desperately, "I want this." He clutched the older boy tightly, feeling their heart pound wildly against each other.

"Bammie, I can't,"  Ville whimpered, holding the trembling boy in his arms. I'm so worried I'll hurt you to much, It would break my heart if I hurt you."

The younger boy latched on to Ville's neck, sucking hard, pinching the tender skin between his teeth. He rocked his hips against the Fin's determined to make him ravish him, lose control and just take him.  And it was working.  Soon Ville growled, thrusting his hips with each roll of Bam's, kneading his ass cheeks, slowly inching his fingers towards The boys quivering entrance. 

"Fuck! Willa, Just do it!" Bam growled, letting the tip of his tongue slip into the Fin's ear.  

"God Bam," Ville moaned, letting his finger circle around the boy's ring of muscle still slick with spit Ville pressed just the tip of his finger to it, feeling it slowly slip around him. He stopped when he was in to his first knuckle, feeling the boy shudder and gasp.

"Are you ok love?" the older boy whispered hotly against the younger boy's neck as his head fell to his shoulder.  He felt the boy nod, gripping his shoulders tight and panting heavily.

"More." The boy moaned, pushing himself back against the Fin's finger, biting his lip against the pain as it slipped in farther, throwing his head back in a silent scream as Ville pushed it hard into him.

"Nuuuuh, oh God Ville" Bam finally groaned, feeling the pain dull fade into some thing else and crawl up his spine making his whole body buzz. The Fin had found his sweet spot on the first try and was stroking it softly, making the boys whole body jerk with each poke at his prostate.

The smaller boy gasped with each shudder that wracked his body, "More," he moaned, his hips rocking faster. "Please, I need you so bad baby."

Slowly the two fell back onto the bed, there bodies still entwined.  Ville sunk his finger deep into the younger boy's heat, jabbing the little bundle of nerves, making Bam squeal.  The boy's body arched up to meet the Fins lips as they closed around a sensitive peaked nipple, he gasped. Rocking his hips back against the finger with in him.

"Shitshitshit!" he cursed as two more fingers slipped into him, the burn from the quick intrusion made him shudder and hold tightly to the body above him.

Ville moved his fingers around within the silky walls of Bam's body, stretching him with each slight withdraw of his fingers before pushing them back in to strike his spot again. He couldn't help but watch his lover's face, watching him bite his lips and cry out as pleasure over took his body. The Fin was in awe, never in his life had he seen anything more beautiful than the boy writhing beneath him. Bam was his, this angel belonged to him. His heart was over flowing with love, his body buzzed from it and he knew he would never love another like he loved his little Bammie.

"Are you ready?" Ville panted, watching the sapphire blue eyes rolled back into Bam's head. 

"Yesssss," came the boy's needy reply as he dug his nails into the Fin's back. "Oh fuck yes."

Ville leaned down, kissing Bam deeply before removing his fingers from the smaller boy's body, making him gasp and pout against his lips. Slowly Ville slid his lips dawn Bam's neck, nipping at his chest as he slid down his body. Pulling away he locked eyes with Bam as he rested on his knees before the boy's shaking legs.  Their tummies were slick and shined from the mixture of the fluids, instantly the scent filled the air, making Ville's eyes roll back as he slick himself with precum before lining up with the younger boys twitching entrance.

Bam's eye flew open and he sat up on his elbows, his cock twitched and pulsed, it drooled as much as he did for the Fin to touch him, claim him, make him his forever. Bam smiled, knowing they would be together forever after tonight. Ville hide his frown as he looked into his love's eyes, how was he going to tell him after this? He pushed the thought out of his mind, right now he needed to make his Bam happy and give him what he wanted, and what he wanted was him.

Moaning as he pumped himself, rubbing the tip of his cock against the younger boy hole, he slowly began to push in. he took great care to keep his eyes open and watch Bam's face for signs of pain, as much as he wanted to pound himself into the smaller boys body he didn't want to hurt him.

Painfully slow he slipped into the boys body, he wanted to cum already, just the thought of where he was drove him wild

Bam's back seemed to be stuck, arched up off the bed as he felt the older boy filling him. The pain raced up his spine, his mouth was held open in a silent scream, he shuddered violently as he felt Ville push against his a spot inside of him that made fire flash through his body making him pour sweat. He felt warn hands roaming over his skin, up his chest to brush the hair from his eyes, and threw his gasping breath he heard his angel speak.

"Bammie? Are you ok" The older boy asked, smoothing the brown curls back as the boys body slowly sank back down to the bed.

Bam gave no reply, he just bit his lip and pushed back against the Fins hips, making him moan and shudder. The older boy couldn't take it any longer he looked into Bam's blue eyes and sat up, gripping the boys hips.

"I love you Bam," The Fin whispered as he pulled out and slammed back into the younger boys body.  Bam cried out, pain ripping through his smaller body, he clawed desperately at the bed, pulling the blankets up around him as he fought the urge to crawl away again.  Soon sparks flashed before his eyes each time they fell shut, and the feel of the older boy's hands at his hips, gripping and holding him down drove him wild. Bam began to buck back. He started rolling his hips with each of the Fin's thrusts, such pleasure he had never felt before, his skin reacted to each touch of the older boys flesh to his own making him moan out loud, painting against the sweaty skin of his lover.

Bam found himself lifting his legs, letting Ville wrap his arms under them and move them to his shoulders. The taller boys next thrust hit that spot inside him that made him scream and his stomach muscles tense, his head fell back against the bed, as he was lifted up into the Fin's lap.

Pantign and gasping, the boys eyes locked. The smaller boy wrapped his arms around the older boys shoulders, holding tight as their foreheads met. Their breaths mixed in the small space between their open mouths, sweat ran down their faces, hair matted against burning cheeks, Ville bucked.

"Fuck!" Bam whimpered, his eyes still wide as he lost himself in the seas of green before him. "I love you more than anything Willa,"

Lips crashed together as their bodies began to move, they swallowed each others moans, soon they  were both crying out, Ville was flat on his back as Bam rocked his hips against him, each down ward movement putting pressure on his sweet spot.  Bam knew he couldn't take it much longer, that strange feeling he had before started to spread through his limbs, his body soon started to buzz with sensation he had never felt before, he rolled his head forward to see the fin in the throws of pleasure, his hands moved slowly over the older boys chest, taking his nipples between his thumb and fingers and pinching them roughly.

"Bam! OH GOD!" the fin screamed, he could hold back no longer, he quickly took hold of the younger boys leaking cock and began to pump it fast, keeping time with his bucking hips.

The younger boy hunched over, his head fell forward and bounce with each thrust. He dug his nails into the fin's chest, his toes curled and he felt like he would burst in two. With a violent scream, his back arched and his head fell back. His body twitched uncontrollably, stars flashed before his eyes and he the strange knotting in his belly spring free.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," the older boy chanted as the boys body clamped tight around him and his seed spilled across his chest.  Finally he could let go, with the younger boys name on his lips he scream releasing himself and painting he inside of Bam's body with his fluids. Together they rode out their orgasm till Bam's body fell against the heaving chest of the gasping Fin.

Ville moved his hands up Bam's back, kissing his head before brushing the hair out of his eyes and cradling the boy to him.

"I love you Willa, Bam whispered, nuzzeling his head under the Fin's chin. " You have made me the happiest person alive."

Ville stroked him fingers through the boys damp hair, and silently cried as Bam yawned, 'What am I going to do?' he thought, 'I love this boy so much it hurts.' In four days he would be gone. 'how was he going to live without him? He had to tell him.

"Bammie?" Ville whispered, craning his neck to see his angel's face. He smiled sadly and kissed the boy's forehead. "Sleep well my love, for tomorrow I break our hearts."

Soon he let the thud of the boys heart against his cheat and his rhythmic breathing lull him to sleep, but it wasn't a blissful sleep, he was tormented by the face of his love, broken and alone.

The little one shot up out of bed, tears stung his eyes and made his cheeks damp. Frantically he reached for the light next to his bed, clicking it on; he took three huge gulps of water from the cup he kept next to him.
Silently he sat; gazing out the window at the moon as she slowly rose into the nights embrace.
He clutched a little silver locket in his trembling fist, blinking into the light that flooded his room; tonight he would get no more sleep.
On the other side of town a certain Finnish boy sat alone in his room, his bare white chest slowly rose and fell in between long drags off the smoke that hung loosely from his lips. His cheeks shimmered in the pale glow from the moon shinning through the dirty window next to his bed; his only thoughts were of a beautiful boy with eyes like sapphires, lips softer than silk and sweeter than honey. His heart pounded rapidly behind his ribs, his body trembled, he knew what was coming, in the morning he would go to his love, kiss him and say goodbye. Never before had two days felt like a lifetime.
"Bam! Get up!" he brother yelled, banging on his door.
The boy rolled over, blinking his dry, red eyes, sighing as he ran shaky fingers through knotted hair.
"I'm up Jess," he called out, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed.
"Good," this brother said in reply, "I'm going to be outside with a tall Fin, thought you might want to know."
"Ville," The younger brother whispered, jumping from his bed to the window, his heart leaped in his chest when he saw the Fin sitting against a tree in the front yard. He felt like jumping out the window just to be with him.
"Hey Jess!" Ville said, waving as his friend walked towards him.
"Yo Vil," Jess smiled, taking a seat next to him. "Bam will be down in a few."
Ville smiled and nodded. "Thanks Jess."
"So," Jess said taking a deep breath, "Does Bam know you were already accepted into this school?"
The Fin chewed his lip, letting his eyes fall shut. "No, I… I can't tell him yet, it would break his heart." Ville felt an arm wrap around his shoulders and he was squeezed slightly.
"You have to tell him," Jess sighed, "You have to let him know."
Ville turned and looked at Jess, he knew he was concerned about his brother, was only looking out for him, being as young as he was.
"I'll tell him Jess," the Fin said truthfully, "just not now, not till the summer is over, just give me this last summer to be happy with him before I break his heart."
Jess nodded and hugged his friend again before getting up and turning to leave. "He loves you very much Vil, he'll forgive you."
"I don't know Jess," he said, "I don't think he will and it kills me."
Bam finished showering and ran to the window, a towel wrapped around him, hanging loosely on his hips. He bounced across his room to the window and gazed lovingly at the older boy. He had never got dressed so fast in his life.
"WILLA!" Bam screamed as he ran across the yard, launching himself into the Fin's open arms. "Oh I've missed you so much!"
Ville chuckled, holding the smaller boy tightly against him. "You just saw me yesterday, you can't miss me that bad."
Bam pulled away from the grinning Fin, He pouted, jutting his bottom lips out.
"Didn't you miss me Willa?" he asked, batting his long brown lashes.
The smile fell from the older boys face, ofcorse he had missed Bam, every second the younger boys not touching him he misses him.
"Oh Bammie," the Fin whispered, tracing a long finger down the bridge of his loves nose. "I missed you more than you know."
"Good" Bam chirped, snuggled back against Ville's chest.
"So what would you like to do for the next few hours love?" The older boy asked, moving his large hands up and down the boys back.
"How many hours?" The young one asked, playing with the rosary that hung around the Fin's neck.
Ville looked at his watch and sighed. "Only 3 hours till I have to catch my flight."
Bam whimpered and wrapped his arms around the taller boys waist. "I don't want you to go Willa, I'll miss you so much."
"I know baby," Ville whispered, kissing the younger boy's head, loving the way he curled around him.
"Take me to the park," Bam whispered, "we can sit and watch the skaters."
Ville smiled, he enjoyed sitting at the park with Bam, laughing at how excited the younger boy got as the skaters did their tricks. At one point Bam tried to teach the older Fin to skate, Ville wish he could have left his body, just so he could point and laugh at himself, he was a funny sight.
"Ok baby, anything you want," The taller boy smiled, hugging the boy tight before letting him go.
Soon they found themselves at the park, sitting on a bench, watching the little skater boys fly back and forth on the ramp. Bam like always held tight to the older boys hand, not caring who saw or what was said, he was proud to hold his love close.
After many heated kisses and some heavy petting The fin sighed pulling The younger boy on to his lap.
"Bammie," he purred against the soft , warm skin of his neck.
"No Willa, Please. Just a few more minutes," he whimpered, tipping his head to give the older boy more flesh to suckle.
Ville moaned, Sucking hard on Bam's soft skin, leaving his mark on him as the younger boy ground his hips against him. He wished he didn't have to leave.
Soon than he wanted to, Ville found himself on a plane, heading back to his homeland, clutching a picture of him and Bam in a happier place.
He let the tears slip down his face, how would he tell Bam he was going to this school in the fall? That they wouldn't see each other more months at a time. His head fell back against the seat, gazing out the window, he let his mind carry him to that happier time in the picture he now crushed to his chest.
Bam wouldn't come out of his room for the two days Ville was gone. All he could think about was that His love was never gonna return and it broke his heart, he sobbed till he was horse and his eyes were dry, yet his body wouldn't let him stop.
At times his friends would stop over, try their best to cheer him up nut he would just roll over in his bed and gaze at the pictures of the Fin that laid on his bed stand.
His brother even popped in to check on him every so often. He knew Bam didn't want any company, that he just wanted to be alone but he could stand by and watch his brother fall apart.
"Bam," Jess whispered, poking his head threw the open door. "Bammie Please come out."
"Don't call me that," Bam whimpered from his place under his covers, "only Willa can call me that."
Jess slowly walked into his brothers room, the smell hit him and he wrinkled his nose.
"Smells like something died in here Bam," he winced, taking a seat at the foot of the bed. "Do you know what day it is?"
"yea, another day with out Willa," he pouted, sounding so broken hearted that his brother quickly scooped him up and hugged him.
"Bam, please, Jess whimpered, you have to stop this. You know he's gonna be home today." He sat back waiting for the words to sink in, yes Ville was coming home today, infact he was down in the living room shaking with glee at where he was.
Jess almost fell off the bed when Bam sprung to his feet.
"Did you say today?" Bam yelped, eyes wide and a smile gracing his once pouting lips.
Jess smiled and nodded his head, not telling the boy that the Fin was down stairs. "You better hop in the shower and clean up, I'm going to go get him from the air port."
With out a word The young one ran for the shower, leaving his brother grinning with joy, Bam was gonna be so happy.
Jess left his brothers room smiling and headed down stairs to the waiting Fin.
"He's in the shower," Jess said taking a seat on the couch as Ville bounced his legs in the chair across from him. "he'll be down in a flash. I told him we had to pick you up yet."
Ville smiled, "I can't wait to see him Jess, I missed him so much, I didn't sleep at all till I was on the flight back here."
Jess sighed, "Well he was a wreck the whole time too, never came out of his room. I don't think he got much sleep either."
My poor Bammie, Ville whispered, dropping his head into his hands. What was he going to do when he had to leave again.
Running his hands through his hair, Ville sighed and mumbled to himself as the sound of heavy footsteps pounded the steps. Ville stood up, turning to the stairwell just as Bam flew around the corner.
The Fin froze, felling his heart leap into his throat. It had only been two
days and he felt like it had been years, he ached to hold the younger boy to him, shower him with soft kisses, once again feel his warm skin.
Bam's slid to a stop, arms out as his eyes fell on the most wonderful sight of his young life.
"W-Willa?" Bam gasped, his eyes running up and down the tall, lanky frame of his love before him. "What are you.."
Before he could finish he found himself wrapped up tight in the arms of the older boy, He sighed and snuggled against him.
"God I love you Bammie." 
****************************

Now go read part 4

The little one was 15 when he found out he liked it, he liked it a lot.
After their encounter at the park, the young one, and the foreign boy hid their love.
They would steal away when no one was looking, find a dark place to be alone, just so they could touch each other. No one would understand them, no one would understand that the Finnish boy love the little American. They would say he was using him, to young to understand things but, what they didn’t know was that the little one always took charge, the Fin was putty in his little hands, never stopping him but, never letting it go to far till one night, the night that would change his little American boy forever.
Ville knew that look in his little lovers eyes, a look that begged him to fallow, and like a puppy he did. He let his eyes wonder over the back of his love, linger on his hips as they swayed, God he was in love.
He watched as Bammie ran up ahead, ducking behind on of the sheds in the school yard. The older boy froze, smiling, waiting to see sky blue eyes peak at him, asking what was taking him so long and right on cue he did.
“Willllaaaa,” The little one wined, giving Ville his best puppy eyes. “lunch isn’t long enough for you to just be standing there, get over here so I can ravish you.” The Fin felt his blood rush lower, leaving him dizzy, Bam always had this effect on him.
“Coming Bammie,” The Fin purred.
“not yet you’re not,” Bam giggled, pulling the older boy behind the shed, pushing him roughly against it.
Ville let out a small whimper as Bam’s lips found his neck, licking to his jaw line.
“I love you Willa,” The young American whispered in his ear, feeling the long arms of his love wrap around him.
“I love you too,” Ville whimpered back, rocking his hips into Bam’s, groaning when his hardness dug into Bam’s thigh. He watched Bam’s eyes close, his face moved closer, felt Bam’s hot breath on his lips before they crashed together, He was putty again.

He belonged to Bam, heart, body and soul.
Bam suck the life out of him when he pulled away, blue eyes burned into his soul, “God I love you,” he wheezed.
“So, what do you have planed for my birthday?” Bam whispered, laying his mop of soft curls against Ville’s chest, listening to his heart, the song it sang just for him.
“something,” Ville purred, pulling Bam tighter against him, loving the warmth that passed between them.
“Awe Willa, tell me,” Bam whimpered, pulled back from him, pouting and trying not to smile.
The Fin smiled sweetly, running his long fingers through Bam’s hair. “You’ll find out tonight Bammie, you can wait.”
The younger boy pouted even more, his bottom lip sticking out and quivering. Quickly, Ville leaned down, sucking that sweet lip into his mouth, making the young one moan and dig his nails into the small of his back, only releasing his love when the bell rang.
“It’s never long enough,” Bam grumped, pulling away from his panting lover, placing one last sweet kiss on his lips before they made their way back to the school, back to living a secret life of stolen glances and hand brushing in the halls.
“after school?” Bam said as Ville opened the door.
“ Yesssssss,” Ville purred, “meet you at the park.”
And with that they went their separate ways, each walking off with friends, glancing back before they lost sight of each other.
They both sat in their separate classes, with their separate friends, longing only to be together, only a few more hours and they would.
Ville sat thinking about the gift he had for Bam, placing his hand over his pocket he felt the lump there, he hoped Bam would like it, it was a symbol of his love, and how he longed to only be with him.
He was pulled from his thoughts when the bell rang, signaling that the last class of the day was done. The Fin felt his heart race, he rushed through the halls, ignoring all his friends calls, he had to get to the park before Bam and get his birthday surprise ready.
Bam walked down the halls, hoping to catch the older boy before he left. He walked past the Senior hall, no Ville. He walked out past the spot where Ville would stop and smoke, No Ville. He was starting to worry but, knew that Ville would be at the park, waiting for him.
The American ran to his locker and grabbed his board, not caring if he got in trouble, he put wheels to floor and skated out the door as fast as he could.
Gasping for breath, Ville rushed through the trees, smiling when he saw Sara had everything ready.
“W- what are you doing here?” he gasped, holding his bag to his chest.
Sara smiled and walked up to Ville, giving him a hug before messing his long dark curls. “I knew you had this planed, So, I skipped last hour and set it up for you, Like it?”
Ville looked around, everything was just as perfect as he had planed, the black quilt land in the shade of a few small trees, the radio tucked neatly in to the bushes net to it. a plate of fruit sat on a small pillow in the center of the blanket and the small candles circled around it.
“oh Sara, It’s perfect,” he cooed, hugging her again. “you are the best!”
“I know!” she smiled, patting his hair back down before pulling her eyeliner out. “now sit still so I can fix your eyes.”
“so, how are things with you and Jess?” The Fin asked, mouth open, looking up as his eyes were lined with kohl.
Sara sighed, smiling wide as she looked over her handy work.
“Things are good, I would have never known he was such a great guy if it wasn’t for you Ville.” she said placing a kiss on his forehead.
“Hey! You have my brother for that, that’s my forehead you kissing there.”
“Bammie!” The older boy squealed, turning around just in time to be tackled down to the blanket by his leaping lover.
Their arms wrapped around each other as their hungry lips met.
“well I guess I’ll be going now,” Sara smiled, watching the two embrace like it was their last.
“Thanks Sara,” Ville giggled, as Bam trailed hot kisses down his neck. “yea, thanks,” Bam growled, nipping at the Fin’s collar bone, waving his hand before slipping it under Ville’s school uniform and thumbing a nipple.
“So what did you get me?” Bam whimpered against Ville’s warm skin before sitting up and gazing down at his lover.
Ville blushed as Bam’s eyes surveyed the clearing.
“Did you do this just for me?” Bam gasped looking back at the older boy as he sat up.
Ville nodded and was once again tackled.
“I love you Ville Valo,” Bam cried, hugging the Fin.
Slowly Ville wrapped an arm around the younger boys waist, rolling on to his side, brushing some stray curls out of Bam’s face.
“Bammie, Are you crying?” Ville asked as the boy sniffed and wiped his eyes.
“Yea,” he whimpered burring his face into the crook of Ville’s arm.
“oh Bam.” Ville whispered, cuddling the smaller boy to him. “please don’t cry, I hate it when you cry.”

The Fin kissed his love sweetly, his lips moved from one wet eye to the other. His nose was next which made Bam giggle, it soon turned into a moan when their lips met. Ville let his hands slip down the young ones back, eyes rolling back at the feel of shape if it. He loved everything about this boy in his arms, the way he smelled, like lilacs and vanilla. The way he stood when angry, how he blushed when their eyes locked. The older boy never in his life thought he would find such happiness.

Reluctantly he pulled back from Bam and smiled, “are you hungry my love?”

“only for you,” the boy purred, puling Ville’s hand to his lips and kissing it.

The Fin sat up and moved the plate of fruit between them, as the day went on they fed each other bits of the sweet fruit, kissing and moaning as the flavors mixed on their tongues.

Ville chewed on his lip as Bam sucked on a strawberry, nipping the end off and chewing slowly. A small line of light red juice slipped from the corner of Bam’s lips, Ville didn’t think twice before moving in and licking it from his love’s face, making the small boy giggle again.

“I’m glad you’re happier now,” the Fin sighed, leaning back on his arms to watch Bam finish his berry.

“How could I not be happy with you?” Bam smiled, popping the last bite into his mouth and moaning.

Ville looked at his watch, 7pm he was gonna have to bring Bam home soon and it broke his heart each night that they said “till tomorrow,” he always worried if there would be a tomorrow.

Bam watch as Ville stood and removed his tie, his coat had been tossed a side hours ago as the ravished each other. The Fin pull a smoke out of his pocket and lit it before moving around and lighting the candles. Bam swooned, each breath came out a sigh as he watch the long frame of the older boy bend over above each soft pink candle, the glow lit up his beautiful face. ‘How could someone so perfect want to be with me?’ he asked himself, looking down at his hands.

The soft sound of music filled his ears and he looked up, meeting the Fin’s gaze, taking his out stretched hand and standing toe to toe with him.

“My Bammie,” Ville purred, running his fingers back through his hair as he pulled him close. Together the sway to the music, taking in each others scent. Every so often they would lock eyes and kiss, soft wet lips slid over each other, even wetter tongues seeking out the darkness of their mouths.

“I have something for you,” Ville whispered against Bam’s ear, his hot breath making the little boy shudder in his arms.

“what is it!” Bam yelped, bouncing the taller Fin up and down.

“let me go and I’ll show you,” Ville smiled, kissing the excited boys head.

“it better be worth letting you go,” The boy smiled, releasing his death grip on the Fin.

“I just hope you like it,” the older boy said softly, a slight pout on his face.

“it’s from you,” the smaller boy whispered, touching his nose to Ville’s. “I’ll love it!”

Ville smiled and dug into his pocket, pulling his gift out and holding it tight in his hand. “Here.”

Bam pulled back and looked down at the taller boys fist, slowly lifting his open hand to it before looking up into the watering eye of his love.

“Baby, Now your crying,” he whimpered, “you’re gonna make me cry,” and right on cue his eyes pooled with tears.

Eyes locked, Ville released his gift into Bam’s open hand. It made a slight giggling sound as it pooled in the Shorter boys palm.

Bam watch Ville’s eyes shut, a single tear slipped down is cheek.

“I-I love you.. So… So much Bammie,” he whimpered.

Bam’s lips trembled, tears slipped from his eyes as he gazed down at his gift, there in is open hand was a small sliver chain. He picked up the chain, revealing a sliver heart shaped locket.

“Ville… I…” Bam lifted his eyes back to Ville’s, “ put it on for me?”

Ville smiled and leaned down, capturing Bam’s lips in a quick heated kiss, “turn around,”

Slowly Bam turned holding his most precious gift out to be placed forever around his neck by the one person who meant the most to him in this world.

He watch Ville’s large hands hold the necklace out and wrap it around his neck, his hand reaches up, holding the locket to his chest as Ville places a soft kiss on the back of his neck.

The older boy lets his hand slide down Bam’s broad shoulders, his lips still lingering on soft skin that raised to his touch. He smiled as the smaller boy leaned against him, resting his head under the Fins chin.

“Ville, when will you…”

“Bam,” The fin said cutting him off, “ love, I don’t want to hurt you,” he let his hands slip down Bam’s sides, fingers moving over his ribs to his hips, gripping him tight, feeling is length harden and rub against the his backside.

Bam turned in his arms, causing Ville to moan out loud as he rubbed against his aching need. He smiled and bucked his hips against the taller Fin, making him gasp and bite his lip.

“Please, Willa?” the younger one begged, slipping his hands down Ville’s chest, feeling is nipples grow hard under his touch.

Ville groaned and wrapped his long arms around the smaller boy, slowly pulling him back down to the blanket. He wanted it, wanted it in a bad way. Bam wasn’t his first but, the way he shook and his stomach flipped it might have well been. He fumbled around for the hem of the boys shirt, revealing more and more of the soft tan flesh as he pushed the shirt up his chest before pulling mine over my head, just so I could feel a bit of his flesh on mine.

Ville’s eyes fell down upon the younger boy under him, Bam’s eyes were locked onto his chest. His hands were placed on the Fins shoulders, taking in all that he could, he had never seen the older boy with out his shirt on. He glanced up in to the darkening green eyes of his love, he was going to panic.

To his surprise Ville’s eyes softened and he smiled, Bammie if you change your mind it’s ok, I’ll wait for as long as you need.” Slowly he leaned down and kissed the boys nose, something that always made the little one giggle but, this time his hands quickly wrapped around the Fin’s shoulders and pulled him down into a hungry kiss, a kiss so intense, so slow, thorough, continual, as if he was indeed going to eat The Fin alive.

“B-Bammie, are you sure?” Ville stammered as Bam trailed kisses along his jaw and up to his temple.

“Take them off,” Bam hissed, bucking his hips, rubbing his now hard need against the older boys.

Moaning, Ville dropped his head to Bam’s chest, kissing and sucking on the warm skin as his hand slipped between them and cupped the younger boys bulge.

“Oh Fuck,” Bam gasped, bucking his hips as Ville’s tongue swirled around his belly button. “Please Nuhhhhh Willa, Take them off. I need you.”

The Fin sat up and Looked down at the smaller boy, Shirt pushed up around his neck, chest heaving “Ok Bam, But I’m gonna take it slow.”

Bam bit his lip as Ville trailed a hand down his tummy, stopping at his pants.

“Are you sure?” The Fin whispers, pulling the button of Bam’s pants free.

The boy just nods and fists the blanket at his sides as his pants are pulled down his thighs, opening his eyes when he hears the older boy gasp. Bam blushed at the sight of his own erection standing proud as a smile spread across Ville’s face and his pants were tossed into some bushes.

“Bammie… You’re so… Beautiful,” Ville whimpered, letting his fingers ghost over the younger boys hips. “My Bammie,” he cooed, leaning down, placing a kiss on Bam’s Thighs, smiling when he felt fingers entangle themselves in his hair..

“More!” Bam groaned, gently trying to move Ville’s lips to the fire between his legs, Shuddering when he felt hot breath on his leaking tip.

Bam’s hands slapped over his mouth, silencing his scream as he was engulfed in the warmth of Ville’s mouth, his hips bucked up, forcing more of him into the older boys throat. Hands pushed his hips back to the ground and held them there, fingers pressing hard enough to bruise, nail pricking his skin, mixing pain with the incredible pleasure he was feeling..

“Oh Ville,” He groaned, letting his hands fall back to the head that was bobbing in his lap, the warm wetness of the mouth around him made his stomach flip, for a second he thought he might get sick till a bolt of heat shot up his spine, his brain shut down and all there was were the green eyes of his love looking up at him,

Ville loved the sounds his Bammie was making, never before had they even come close to do anything like this, shoot they never even had their shirts off before and here he was blessed to have his love’s hardness in his mouth. He let his eyes roll back with the thought of what he was doing, felt his own cock strain against his pants, and fought the urge to shove his hand down his pants to relieve himself.

Bam moaned pulling him closer to his crotch till Ville felt him hit the back of his throat. He let his tongue move around the thickness in his mouth, sliding the tip in to Bam’s leaking slit, groaning as the taste burst across his tongue, learning what got the best response from the boy beneath him.

“Willa.. I.. Something feels odd,” Bam panted, his stomach muscles grew tight and his head buzzed..

Ville purred, he knew what was coming and sped up his actions, he reached up and tweaked one of the younger boys nipples, smiling at the cry that came from him.

“ VILLLLEEEEEE”, Bam screamed, his whole body trembled as he shot down the back of Ville’s throat. The feeling was so intense, he bucked hard, desperate for more. Starts flashed behind his eyelids, warmth rushed over his body as Ville hummed around him sucking every last drop from his writhing body.

He gasped as Ville released his now limp member with a ‘pop’, moaning and licking his lips.

“Oh Bammie’ you were wonderful,” Ville cooed, licking every last taste of Bam from his lips. He looked down at the shaking boy before him, Smiling at the way he clutched the locket to his heaving chest, he looked even smaller and more fragile than Ville remembered.

“BamBam, are you ok?” he asked, placing butterfly kisses on his sweat covered skin, making the boy shudder and giggle. Ville was never so happy to hear his love giggle then he was at that moment.

“Ville… I… You,” he panted, his baby blues heavily hooded by dark lashes. “again,” he purred, lunging forward and pulling the body of the Fin down on top of him. “let me.. can I?” he paused. Looking in to the sea green eyes of the older boy, “ Can I do that for you?”

The fin’s eyes went wide, making the young one shrink.

“Did I say something wrong?” Bam asked, seeing the shocked look on Ville’s face.

“You want to do that to me?” he gasped looking the younger boy in the eyes.

Nodding Bam reached up and brought their lips together, parting Ville’s lips with his tongue he dove into his mouth, in the next second he pulled back in shock.

“Is that what I taste like?” he asked, blinking up at his confused lover.

“Yes,” Ville giggled, “that would be you,”

Bam smiled. “I like it,” and crashed their lips together again, moaning into the kiss, searching out every last salty spot in the Fin’s mouth as he grabbed him and flipped them over.

Ville gasped, suddenly feeling very small.

“B-bammie” he squeaked, as his pants were hurriedly undone and roughly pulled down his slender legs.

A growl broke free from deep within Bam’s chest as he eyed the now nervous Fin.

Bam sat up straddling Ville’s hips, moaning when his hardness pressed between his ass cheeks.

“Pssssst.”

Ville opened his eyes and listened as Bam nipped at his neck, rocking his hips against the Fin’s. Ville let his eyes slip shut again feeling his young love slip down his body.

“Psssssssssst, Hey!”

This time they both froze and Bam sat up, just inches away from his prize. The two boys locked eyes then slowly reached for their pants.

“Hey Ville, you decent?”

“Sara?” Both boys chirped, slipping their clothes on faster now.

“Yea, we’re covered,” Ville said, taking his shirt back into his pants as Bam tied his shoes.

Bam looked up and Smiled at Ville. “next time you’re mine,” The Fin smiled back and licked his lips. “Mmmm Bammie,”

“Oh you two knock it off,” Sara groaned as she walked out in to the moon lit clearing. The candles had burned out long ago. “Bam, your mother called my house looking for you, I told her you were down at the skate park with some friends and offered to come get you.”

Ville looked down at his watch, ”OH SHIT!”

Bam looked up at the Fin and jumped to his feet, eyes darting from Ville’s watch to his face.

“Bam, It’s 10pm,” he yelped. Both boys ran around franticly getting their stuff together, darting past each other a few times before they stopped dead in their tracks and gazed at each other.

“Willa, It’s the weekend,” Bam pouted, tears welling up in his eyes. Ville rushed to him and held him close, cupping his head to his chest.

“Oh Bam,” he whispered, “ I’ll only be gone for two days love.”

Bam sniffed and looked up at the Fin. “I know but, we always spend the weekends together. Why do you have to go?”

Ville’s heart ached, he didn’t want to think about being away from his little Bammie but he wanted to get in to this music school and had to go for the open house.

“Stay here with me Willa,” the younger boy whimpered, nuzzling his head under Ville’s chin. “I don’t want you to go away to another school.”

“I wish I could stay Bammie, Ville whispered, running his hands up and down the boys back. “But I have to go to this school. Now lets get going.”

Bam nodded and released the Fin, walking slowly to his bag and picking it up.

“Will you came see me before you leave?” the little one asked, tucking his board under his arm.

“ You know I couldn’t leave with out one last kiss,” the Fin smiled before shoving the blanket in to the bag he had left there earlier.

Soon they had everything packed and ready to go, they stood toe to toe, gazing lovingly into each others eyes.

“ I love you, my Bammie,” Ville whispered, kissing the boys head, his thumb rubbing the locket under Bam’s shirt.

“ I love you more,” Bam sniffed, leaning up to kiss the taller boy tenderly. “See you in the morning?”

“Yes darling,” the older boy cooed, as their lips parted.

And with that they turned and walked away, both going in separate directions, to lead their separate lives. Looking back before they lost sight of each other, longing only to be together.

 

He was 15 when he kissed a boy.

He was 16 when he found out he wanted more.

He was Fifteen when he kissed a boy.

"Come on guys," The older brother called out. "It's just a game."

Alone, the young one sat, silently watching the happenings in the living room. His brother had decided to have a party while the folks were away.

"Yea, I know it's just a game Jess," a tall blond said to the older brother.  "But there are more guys then girls here."
"What if it lands on a dude?" another friend said while Jess held an empty wine bottle.

The little one looked up from his perch on the top step, smiling at his brother, trying anything to get a little redhead to kiss him.

"If it lands on a guy then just hug, we'll only kiss the girls." the oldest said while turning to the friend who was nudging him.

"What if it lands on that, your fag friend there," the shorter of the two blond boys said lifting his chubby finger and pointing.

The younger brother leaned over the rail, straining to see who his brother's friend was pointing at. He was pretty sure who knew who it was, and when he saw him his breath hitched in his throat.
There sat the tall, lanky, foreign boy from some country that slipped the younger brothers mind.
No one really liked the strange, quiet kid who just sat reading most of the time. He was new to the school and already all the girls wanted him. The older brother, as smart as he was, quickly befriended the stranger. At first, only to use him to get closer to the girls that flocked around him, soon they were real friends.
"Well, if it lands on him you're screwed," Jess laughed. It was a known fact to Jess that the strange one liked boys, everyone else just guessed since he wore more makeup then some of the girls. "He might just jump up and kiss you."

The younger brother sat transfixed by the foreign boy, he liked him and they had some great talks about music and he seemed to like to watch the little on skate. He had seen him almost everyday for the past month; he would even come over at times when his brother wasn't home, just to talk with him. This made the younger brother smile.

"OK, Lets get this started!" Jess barked, turning the music down and ordering everyone in to a circle on the floor. 12 kids in all, 5 of them girls. These odds made the rest of the boys nervous.
"Hey Ville!" Jess called out, looking back at the boy sitting by himself. "Come get in the circle."
The foreign boy lifted his head, long dark curls reveled glowing green eyes lined in kohl, his hair rested against his milky cheeks, and a slight smile curved his cherry stained lips. Slowly he closed the old, thick book he had his nose stuck in, laid it on the floor and joined the circle.

The younger brother watch as some of the boys moved away from him, whispering "Fag," under their breath. None of it made the foreign boy flinch, he was used to it but, it made the little one on the steps angry. He liked him allot.

"You too Bam," The oldest brother yelled, seeing his sibling on the steps.
Bam jumped, hearing his name and shook his head.
"Come on Bam," Jess called again, "I'll let you drink."
The little ones eyes lit up and he darted down the steps, Sponge bob PJs and all, and took his seat in the circle.  He smiled as he was handed a full pint of vodka and sucked hard, feeling it burn down his throat.  With a loud gasp he set the bottle down next to him, catching the foreign boy staring at him, making him blush and he smiled back before looking up at his brother.

"Ok," Jess said, clearing his throat. "So this isn't going to be your normal game of spin the bottle."
"I fucking knew it!" one of his friends grumped.
Jess grinned at the redhead, and blushed when she smiled back. "This will be Seven Minutes in Heaven."
"Dude, NO!" A few friends called out, two even left the circle.
Bam giggled to himself before taking another shot, feeling his cheeks flush and his stomach quiver when he locked eyes with the foreign kid. Maybe it was the vodka, Yes, it had to be the vodka

Ville gazed at the smaller boy, only smaller in height, Ville marveled at how much thicker the younger boy was then him, how he would love to have his long tan arms around his waist, his thick thighs squeezing his hips, Ville's bit his lip and his cheeks flushed, he looked down at his hands, picked his nails, feeling the wave of goose bumps creep up his spine. He rolled his eyes and calmed his pounding heart. There was no way little Bam liked him too. He looked back up and felt his heart leap into his mouth, blue met green, cheeks were flush, and Maybe Bam did like him.

"Ok, who's spinning first?" the taller blond boy said, pushing the bottle to the center of the group.  No one answered.
"Looks like you are," Jess said.  The blond boy sighed and grabbed the bottle, closing his eyes and crossing his fingers he gave the bottle a spin.
Bam watched as the bottle spun fast at first, slowing with each turn till it stopped and rolled a bit.
The blond boy opened his eyes, smiling a bit when he saw the bottle pointing at a little brunette with glasses. Bam thought she wasn't the cutest thing but, he knew the blond liked her.
Cheers erupted, and everyone started chanting, "DO IT, DO IT."
"In the closet," Jess smiled, pointing to the big closet under the steps.  Bam watched as the girl blushed and followed the boy into the closet.
"Seven minutes," Jess called out over the hoots as he shut the door and started his stopwatch.

Bam giggled, shaking his head and reached for the vodka next to him. He jumped when his fingers brushed a set of cooler ones. He looked down at the long pale fingers that had wrapped themselves around his bottle. He followed the hand as it lifted the bottle to a pair of moist lips, again the vodka effected Bam.  His stomach flipped and warmth swept over him as he watched the clear fluid slip between the foreign boys lips.
Bam gulped as his eyes met those of the other boy and found it hard to look away.  Soon the bottle was removed from those pink lips, an even pinker tongue slowly swiped out, catching a little drop that slipped from the corner of his mouth. Bam felt his own tongue slip between his lips, thinking only what it would feel like if it belonged to the other boy.
He smiled, shaking his mop of brown curls into his eyes, trying to hide his red cheeks, he didn't look up again till his brother yelled and he heard a girl squeal.
He spun around, catching the girl and blond boy pull apart and slowly walk out into the room with flushed cheeks and heaving chests. Everyone laughed, asked stupid questions and moved back to their seats.
Bam smiled as he watched the blond and brunette sit next to each other, hands close, fingers lightly brushing together.
It was now the blond boys turn to pick who was next.  He looked around the group of friends and stopped when his eyes met Bam's
"You," He said, placing the wine bottle in front of the younger brother.  Bam looked around the circle, no one even looked back at him... he knew they wouldn't, being only fifteen he was to young to kiss.  He sighed and looked over at his brother. "Do I have too?"
Jess just smiled and held the vodka up.
Bam groaned and spun.
He watched the bottle spin and wobble before coming to a stop on a certain redhead.
"No fucking way," he heard his older brother whisper.  Bam's head snapped around, eyes darting over his brother's face, looking for any sign of what to do.
Jess shrugged as cat calls filled the room, "To the closet!"
Bam shot a look to the redhead, noticing the foreign boy leaning in and whispering in her ear. The girl giggled, slapping Ville's thigh before getting up and pulling him into the closet. She turned before closing the door, "You know this little boy might not come out a virgin."
Bam's eyes went wide and he saw the laughing green eyes of Ville before he was cloaked in darkness. All he could hear were the calls on the other side of the door and the breathing from two sets of lungs.
He jumped and froze when a warm body pressed against his. 
"It's ok Bam, I'm not going to do anything," the girl said, patting his mop of curls.  Bam sighed and felt a wave of relief wash over him, he didn't want to kiss a girl, he wanted to kiss a certain boy with a sexy deep voice and glowing eyes.
"I know someone who likes you," the girl said, breaking the silence that had fallen around them. 
"Really?"  Bam asked, "Who would that be?"
The girl laughed. "I don't know if I should tell you,"
" You have to tell me," Bam begged, "incase I get stuck in here with her." 
The dark room was silent again.
"Sara?"  He whispered.
"What if it's not a girl Bam?" she asked just as the door was flung open. She giggled and leaned into Bam, placing a quick kiss to his lips and walking out the door, winking at Jess as she passed.
The young one stayed in the closet, looking out into the room, "Not a girl?" he said to himself, eyes shifting to the foreign boy as Sara whispered to him. Ville's eyes locked with Bam's and he smiled.
The vodka hit Bam again; he swallowed hard and found his seat.  He glanced up at Sara, a playful smile danced across her face; she looked from Bam, to the bottle, to Ville and back to Bam. Bam's and Ville's eyes met, neither one looked away.
Jumping when he felt a hand grip his shoulder Bam turned and instantly knew the look on his brother's face as he sat down.  Jess leaned into his younger brother, "If you kissed her you're dead!"  Bam's gasped and shook his head, relieved when Jess's hand slid to his back and patted him.  "I'm just kidding Bammie Boy, So who's next?"
Bam forgot it was his turn to pick who went next, he gazed around the room.  "HIM!" he said loudly, pointing to Ville
"No! Fuck that shit!" the taller blond barked. "I'm done, where's the beer?"  Ville and Sara laughed as he got up and went into the kitchen followed by two of his friends. Bam looked around the circle; there were only 8 kids left, 5 girls and 3 boys. Bam sighed; there was no way he was going to be lucky enough to be stuck in the closet with his crush.
Ville smiled, blushing slightly as he took the bottle. This made Bam's stomach flip again, he was starting to think it wasn't the vodka affecting him because the feeling started to creep lower.  Bam felt his cheeks flush when his brother nudged him. "So what did you pick Ville for? You got something against him?"
Bam shook his head 'no', but inside he was thinking he did want something against him though as he watches Ville spin the bottle.
Bam's heart skipped in his chest, he needed a shot, now where did he put the bottle?  He turned side to side looking for it before seeing it again in Ville's grip, pressed to his soft lips, blue met green and the bottle stopped.
Gasps filled the room; Ville looked down at the bottle then back up at Bam, a slight smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
"DUDE! You have to go in with the fag boy," the blond boy laughed, pushing on Bam's shoulder.
Bam's eyes shot to the floor; there it sat, pointing right between his legs.  He stared at it till a pair of black boots stopped on either side of it and a hand patted him on the head.
"Let's go little one," Ville chirped. "I haven't got all day."
"No, Just seven minutes," Jess laughed, tugging a slightly limp, Shocked Bam to his feet and pushing him into the closet. Jess knew something no one else did, Ville wanted little Bammie and they had made a deal. Jess would help him get Bam if he helped him with Sara so, a deal was struck.
Ville smiled and strutted in pulling the door shut behind him, the anticipation of his hands on Bam's tan skin was already pooling between his legs.
"FAGS," was chanted on the other side of the door, each time it hit the little ones ears it made him panic a little more. He stood still in the corner, only his rapid breathing gave him away and he cried out when strong hands gripped him, long arms wrapped around him and his chest pressed against another. 
"NO, Let me go, I'm not a faggot!" he shouted, with a hiccupping gasp, the warmth was gone, the arms released him with a shove and he instantly regretted saying that last part. He didn't mean it, it just came out.
"Wait, Ville I."
It was too late, the closet door flew open and Bam was left there alone and ashamed.
"Wait fag boy," the blond boy called out. "It's only been 3 minutes, what's wrong; little brother wouldn't let you fuck him?"
Bam had enough. He ran from the closet, hands balled into little fists.  He tackled the taller blond boy to the ground, little fists flying, soon blood covered his knuckles and he was screaming as his brother dragged him off his friend. "Don't you ever call him that, ever say that to him or I'll kill you, I'll FUCKING kill you!"
Jess had Bam pinned down. And for how small Bam was he was very strong and it took all Jess had to hold him from killing the blond boy. "You better go man," Jess said to his friend.  "Bam's gone mad."
The blond stood up, wiping the blood from his nose and lips.  "What's wrong, you little homo?" he spat at Bam, "mad that I picked on your faggot boy friend?"
"LEAVE, NOW!" Jess shouted, glaring angrily at his friend as Bam kicked and struggled to get free yelling every foul word he knew.
Jess released His little brother a few minutes after the blond left and watched him run out the front door.

Bam ran in the direction of the park, he knew from following his brother around that Ville had a favorite spot in a small cluster of trees there, he only hoped that's where he went.
Bam ran as fast as he could, his bare feet burned as the slapped against the sidewalk, the muscles in his legs burned and his lungs ached but he couldn't stop, he had to find the foreign boy.
Finally busting through the trees, he fell to the ground, having used up every last bit of strength he had. His chest hurt as he gasped and choked on the air filling his lungs.  
"Ville," he wheezed. His voice growing louder with each new breath, "VILLE PLEASE!" he finally screamed, pinching his eyes shut.
"What?" came a soft shaky voice.
The little one's eyes shot open and he tuned his head towards the sound.
"Ville?"  Bam's eyes came to rest on the dark form of the foreign boy slumped against a tree.  He watched as the glow from the cigarette held loosely between the older boys long fingers lit up his face, the wet lines from tears sparkled on his cheeks.
"Just go away Bam," he whispered, his face going dark again as he tossed the butt of his smoke away.
Bam slowly rolled over, his gaze never leaving Ville's dark form.  "I'm sorry," he said, sitting back on his feet. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
"No, you're right Bam," Ville sighed, wiping at his face. "You're not a faggot but, I am."
That word made Bam's flesh crawl and he felt sick, the harshness of it hitting him, he couldn't believe he practically called Ville that.
Slowly Bam crawled on his hands and knees toward the foreign boy, his shoulders and hips swaying like a stalking cat.  Ville couldn't help but watch with interest as Bam got closer, finally stopping next to his out stretched legs.
"Look," Bam said, placing both his little hands on Ville's thighs.  "It's hard for me... I'm scared."
Ville let his eyes wonder from where the younger boy was touching him to his eyes, he couldn't help but grin.  The boy sat before him, lip pinched between his teeth, large blue eyes gazed back, filled with emotions the older boy thought he would never see, his eyes held him captive.
Slowly Ville reached out, brushing a few curls from Bam's face, "I like you Bammie," he whispered, "and you're not like me, I have to except that".
"But.... Ville?" The boy whispered, his hands gripping tighter to the foreign boy's jeans.
"No Bam, I understand,"
"Ville," Bam said again, feeling his eyes begin to water.
"You don't have to explain anything to me," Ville said, speaking softly.
"NO!" Bam Barked, making Ville jump, his tear filled eyes flashed with fire as he gritted his teeth. Slowly Bam moved, swinging one of his legs over Ville's, coming to rest in his lap.
"W-What are you doing?" The older boy gasped, loving the way the younger boy felt sitting on his hips.
Bam's cheeks flushed red and he fisted the end of Ville's shirt and lifted his sky blue eyes to meet Ville's ocean green ones.  Ville shuddered as he watched Bam's pink tongue swipe across his bottom lip, leaving a soft shine that made him want to kiss him, to taste what his tongue left behind on those pouting lips.
"I like you too," Bam whimpered, before leaning in and pressed his forehead against Ville's. "I kind of always have, I just didn't know what it was until tonight"
"Bammie," Ville half moaned, slipping a hand over the boys leg, feeling the muscles shake under his skin.
Dark lashes fell against flushed cheeks, hearts raced, breaths were held and lips met. Just a small brush of skin against skin but, it was enough to make both boys hungry for more.
Ville felt the corners of his lips curve up as Bam pulled back. "I'm... I'm Sorry," Bam said nervously, shaking, as his hands slid up the inside of the foreign boy's shirt, "I just have too... to know."
"Know what?" Ville moaned, his head falling back against the tree as rough hands moved up his chest, callous fingers circled around his nipples.
Bam bit his lip, pinching one of the soft nubs till it grew hard, drawing a groan from the older boy. "I needed to know if this was right."
"Does it feel right?" Ville gasped as Bam's lips moved up the long column of his neck, stopping to nip and suck on the stop where his racing heart could be felt.
"Yes," Bam groaned, rocking his hips into Ville's. "Does it to you?" he asked back
Ville made no reply. Instead his hand slipped through soft bouncy curls as he gripped the back of Bam's head; bring their lips back together again. This time the kiss was needy and hard, leaving them both breathless when they pulled away.
The younger boy smiled, held tight against the foreign boy's chest, listening to his heart beat out a sweet song just for him.
Right then he knew for sure it was never the vodka.

He was fifteen when he kissed his first boy, and fifteen when he found out he liked it.

*************************************************************************************************************

*big sigh*

It feels good to get my Inner Vam out...

(what a sweet little fanticy i like to live in)

YAY!!.. I wanna moved to Vamlandia..LOL  oh wait.. i already live there... Woot woot..

Slave loves her Vam

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.TURTLE!!!

 

HOW CUTE IS THAT!!!!!!

 

You can’t be… Gone

I still see you.. I swear I do… I still feel your eyes on me at night as I lay awake shivering..

Yet each time I look you vanish..

I wont believe what people tell me…

“He’s gone… He’s dead” over and over they say.. Trying to make me believe them..

But I still see you..

So why am I walking here.. Through the stones of the dead?..

Stopping.. Watching the moon cast pale shadows on the freshly upturned earth…

Here… in this very moment it hits me.. I fall to my knees.. Hands digging into the damp dirt.. Tears raining down on you..

You…

They took you away from me… I can only imagine what pain you went through… I wish I could have taken it for you.. The world wouldn’t have missed me..

Oh how I miss you..

Slowly I sink down.. Lay flat against the cold earth where you now sleep..

“Welcome home baby“.. I whisper.. Digging my fingers into the ground.. Anything to get closer to you again..

Give me a reason to believe that you're gone
I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong
Moonlight on the soft brown earth
It leads me to where you lay
They took you away from me but now I'm taking you home

Forever…

That’s what we promised each other… Never leave each other…

“I’m here love“.. I whimper... “I wont leave you”… The earth is cold against my cheek..

“I’ll love you forever”…Your soft lips breathed against my neck…

That was the last thing you told me…..

I believe you… because I know that even though your not here… my heart beats for the both of us.. Even death wont keep us apart..

I will stay forever here with you
My love
The softly spoken words you gave me
Even in death our love goes on

They call me crazy….

I need you.. I lay here every night..

Even the bonds of death can’t keep me from your side..

This dirt under my skin.. The box that is now the bed you lay in…

Nothing will stop my love..

I wont let you go..

You can’t leave me here alone…

They don’t understand…

They can’t hear you….

But I do..

Some say I'm crazy for my love, Oh my love
But no bonds can hold me from your side, Oh my love
They don't know you can't leave me
They don't hear you singing to me

The pain is unbearable… The hole in my life that was once filled by you is slowly taking me over… Soon I will join you…

Forever we said….. I like that.. Forever is a long time..

So forever it will be…

My love can’t grow any stronger…

I’m coming home love…

And I can't love you, anymore than I do

People die, but real love is forever.

~Evanescence-- Even in Death~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The worship of Ville Valo, lead singer of HIM, as Lord Almighty and Ultimate Teacher. Lauri Ylönen of The Rasmus is regarded as a Jesus-like figure, the Son of God, or in real life, just a really good friend. Aki Hakala, also of The Rasmus, is Lauri's lover, known as a Mary Magdalene of sorts. Eicca Toppinen of Apocalyptica is our only prophet, and he wrote the only gospel in our Bible (other than the scripts of Lauri and Valo) which is the Gospel according to Eicca. Saints and revered people include Tarja Turunen, Tuomas Holopainen, Linde, Migé Amour, Gas Lipstick, Burton Emmerson, Perttu Kivilaakso, Paavo Lötjönen, Eero Heinonen, Pauli Rantasalmi, Siiri Nordin and Teijo Jämsä.

A Dynasticist is someone who practices Dynasticism. They wear rosaries around their necks as necklaces, and as tributes to the Lord Valo. They also sometimes wear a tuque or a beanie, as a tribute to Valo and to Lauri, but this is optional. They also tend to wear a lot of black and say a lot of random things i.e. "Margaritas for all!" They are generally very hyper and happy about a lot of silly things, but can experience periods of sporradic depression and emotion, usually cured by a good listen to any of the available religious hymns i.e. In the Shadows and Your Sweet 666. They are easily distinguishable from normal humans by their extremely thick black eyeliner and their random attempts at a Finnish accent. The most zealous of Dynasticists can be seen in the months of April, October, and November at shopping malls, feverishly looking for the best sales, ranting about having to buy gifts for either Laurimas (April 23), Akimas (October 28) or Villemas (November 22). These are their religious holidays, not unlike the Christian Christmas (December 25). It is forbidden for Dynasticist to exclaim "Oh my God!" This is heretical. The proper terms are "Oh my Valo!", "Oh my Ville!", "Oh my Lauri!" and "Oh my Finnish gods!" Dynasticist extremists have been known to form cults such as: the Hm! Finnish Bittersweet Crow Orange Juice Pulp Cult, a cult dedicated to the strangeness of the young Lauri; and The United Republic of the Noths an imaginary country in between Sweden in Finland where all Dynasticist dieties live in peace with a few select followers.

Dynasticism is named after the Dynasty, a collective group of Finnish rockers. The original one was formed by The Rasmus, Killer, and Kwan, but has broadened to encorporate other bands such as HIM, Nightwish and Apocalyptica.

"Dynasticism rules. Convert now!"

ok so i'm think about writing a one shot songfic...

The song Even in Death by Eveanescence...

It made me think of a beautifuly sad story between Ville and Bam...

Would anyone like me to write it?

listen to the song and tell me what you think.. it's the last song on my player...

Bam Margera Skating's king of mischief

Getting punched in the face fucking sucks. It’s not how it is in the movies at all, when a character gets popped super hard and is back on his feet trading punches with the enemy moments later. Real-life punching is a crippling, horrific experience epitomised by four knuckles - and maybe even a ring - connecting with someone’s soon-to-be-swollen, bleeding and agonising-in-pain face.

For this reason alone I became utterly shocked and a bit horrified when I first witnessed two individuals clock each other in the face – not maliciously, but willfully. The two lunatics I’m talking about were Bam Margera and his friend, Brandon DiCamillo, and the video was Toy Machine’s Jump Off A Building. The array of Jackass-style buffoonery interspersed throughout Bam’s skate part would introduce the world to his crazy body-destroying humour. I suddenly looked at Bam, not just as an outrageously talented skater, but as completely out of his mind.

A staple in the East Coast skate scene since he was a tike, Bam made his mark in a late H-Street video doing a blunt to fakie on a giant vert wall. In time, he would make a series of appearances in mags and videos, establishing himself as a hungry amateur. But it wasn’t until Bam started riding for Toy Machine that his obsession with filming himself and his buddies acting like maniacs became televised to the public. His antics soon evolved into a series of videos dedicated almost exclusively to Bam’s signature fuck-around, hurt-yourself footage in a succession of colourful productions. The infamous Landspeed Wheels video, Landspeed: CKY, evolved into the CKY franchise, which in turn spawned MTV hit shows Jackass, Viva La Bam and, most recently, Bam’s Unholy Union.

There are a million things that could be triggered by the thought of Bam and his career, but for some reason, just one particular thought always hits me. When I think of Bam, I regularly recount the voiceover from the Viva La Bam intro going, “What will he do next?” and Bam responding, “Whatever The ‘Beep’ I Want.” I don’t know why I keep thinking of this succession of words. Maybe it’s because Bam Margera, at twenty-eight years of age, can in fact do pretty much whatever the fuck he wants.

It’s a warm Saturday morning as I embark on a mission to Bam’s house, aka Bamland, to see just what goes down in the real life of the skating world’s most famous masochistic celebrity. His home is a good three and a half hours away from New York City in the absolute bumble-fuck sticks of West Chester, Pennsylvania.

As the rental speeds through an infinite cattle-grazing landscape, my mind turns to an interview I did with Bam a few months ago. At the time, he was in the throes of locking himself within his in-home editing suite to cut his new film, Minghags, which he co-wrote, starred in, directed and completely funded. “Yeah, I’ve spent about $230,000 so far, but I own all of the equipment already so I don’t have any camera rental fees,” he told me then. The script had been sitting around for two years, but Bam was far too busy filming Viva La Bam and then Bam’s Unholy Union to work on it. “As soon as I finished nine episodes of Bam’s Unholy Union I was like, ‘Fuck it, I don’t give a shit. I’m reserving, like, three months of my life for this movie and I’m getting it done before I commit to any other project.’” The film’s now in the bag and ready for release. With any luck, I might get a sneak peek during my visit.

Upon arrival, I remember the instructions from Bam’s publicist: “Call Missy, Bam’s wife, when you get to the gate.” Bam mentioned he’d often be hounded by fans, many of whom would show up at the gate to shoot photos of themselves standing there – and then hang around for hours in the hope of getting a glimpse of him. This time, however, Bam’s pad is a groupie-free zone. I pull up and call Missy, who promptly gives me the code. I punch it in and it slowly opens. For some reason, I drive up Bam’s driveway cautiously. To my left a giant, plastic Santa Claus is strung to a tree like some kind of effigy. Next to it sits an official-looking sign that reads ‘Serious As Shitwater’. To my right, another sign reads ‘9 of Novak’s Dicks = 1 Of Frantz’s Dicks’. The driveway has a six-coloured rainbow overlooked by an assortment of huge, flamboyantly painted fibreglass animals. On its outskirts sit the famous cement banks that MTV paid for. They curve around a bend leading to a strip of three garage doors, each with a strange individual painting on it. One is of Osama Bin Laden wearing a 76’ers jersey and spinning a basketball on his finger. Another, of Lance Bass from N’ Sync in astronaut attire. And the last one is of Ronald Reagan. Next to the detailed portrait sit the words, ‘Fuck Reagan, he’s a fuck-ass’.

I suddenly get a strange feeling in my stomach. Where the hell am I?

 

***********************************************

This is funny.. I just got this Back from Vince....LMAO!!!

Re: Bam Margera and Ville Valo‏
From:	Vince Medeiros (vince@huckmagazine.com)
Sent:	Thu 1/10/08 8:26 AM
To:	Nikole Mason (faeriekats@hotmail.com)

(((IT'S AN OLDER ONE)))

Listening to HIM is like getting hit over the head with a valentine, except on the front of the card, on the cartoon cupid, frontman Ville Valo has drawn devil horns and a dangling cigarette and signed "love, your sweet 666." The valentine wafts faintly of tobacco, not perfume, and on the inside you’re more likely to find a couple drink tickets to the local bar instead of candy hearts. Based in Helsinki, Finland, the band HIM—completed by bassist Mige, guitarist Linde, drummer Gas and keyboardist Burton—has taken rock romanticism, cranked up the volume, added a dash of sardonic humor and created a signature sound that critics have dubbed "love metal." HIM’s music is the gloom and doom of Black Sabbath meets the tragic romance of Depeche Mode. It’s the soundtrack to a young romantic crying through vintage eyes and heavy metal sunglasses, wiping his tear stained face on his Iggy Pop and the Stooges t-shirt, smearing his eyeliner. But it’s not all that depressing, when the music kicks it kicks hard and there are more than a few songs than can be called upbeat. The music has charisma and the fans know it.

Though relatively new to American listeners, HIM has spent the past eight years courting audiences overseas, and with four albums released and sales reaching a collective 2 million, the group is one of the most successful rock bands in Europe. HIM re-released its album Razorblade Romance (Universal) stateside on October 28 of last year and launched a sold-out supporting club tour—their first in America—later that Fall. The band has since signed a major deal with American label Sire Records, re-released the album Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights (Universal) on September 28 and is gearing up for their second American tour (supported by Auf Der Maur and Monster Magnet) which kicks off November 12 in Worcester, MA and wraps December 4 in Los Angeles.

Prior to signing with Sire, Ville Valo took some time to talk with SuicideGirls about HIM’s American experience and the current state of popular music.


Erin Broadley: You recently wrapped up your first tour in America. How did it go? During our last interview you mentioned that you were looking forward to touring here and wanted to get beaten up by hillbillies in a redneck bar—the true American experience. Any such luck?

Ville Valo: Unfortunately we just toured the East and West coasts so we didn’t run into any rednecks (laughs). We were saved from all the violence. But the tour was excellent. The weather was beautiful most of the time. All the gigs sold out. Loads of kids knew all the lyrics to all the songs, even from albums that haven’t been released here yet. It was really a big surprise for us. We thought we were going to have to go back in time—time travel—and start from scratch.

EB: I heard that some fans were paying upward of 200 dollars for tickets on Ebay.

VV: Did they? Oh for fucks sake. Well, for us, it’s always better not to have too many expectations and to just go with the flow because then it’s always a big plus no matter what happens. I’m truly happy. The tour was pretty easy but pretty hectic. We had a few days off in Seattle. Nothing weird happened. It was a new culture and new country for us to experience. It was just us walking around and going to Starbucks and getting a cup of coffee. We didn’t really do loads of interviews or any PR. We really just wanted to enjoy the first tour and hang out, like we did in most of the countries in Europe on the first tour. It was just nice to be able to party and hang out a bit and not make it too excruciating

EB: Do you see any particular similarities or differences between the way the music industry functions here in America as opposed to Europe?

VV: For us, the music industry is a weird situation in the way that now we’re done with the BMG [record] deal in Europe. So we’re free men to be slaves again, so to speak. So we’ve been negotiating with labels now and its looking good. We’re in a wonderful situation that there are loads of American record companies that like what we do. And that’s a lovely thing. So we’re just trying to pick the lesser of the evils

EB: Do you think achieving success via one’s creative endeavors is harder here? Los Angeles in particular gets criticized for strangling the creative life out of bands

VV: Well that’s part of the music business as well. Los Angeles and New York are the big centers of the music industry worldwide so of course it can be hard for newcomers who don’t know what to expect from the music business. But we learned loads of lessons back in Europe so we know how the business works, more or less. We’ve released loads of albums. We’ve been working with record labels since 1996. And we never seem to have any problems with it because, like I’ve said to you before, their business is to sell records and we’re just trying to make the record itself. Basically, that’s how it is. We’re trying to have the band create something beautiful that hopefully one day, 20 years from now, can be picked up by a kid and hopefully have the same effect that Neil Young had on me, or Led Zeppelin or Black Sabbath. That’s what we’re aiming at. We hope people understand the amount of emotion we put into our work and that they can hopefully get emotionally attached to what we do as well and then create a situation [by hooking up with a record label] where that music is available to listen to

EB: Last we talked, you mentioned you were working on some rough versions of new songs. How is that coming along?

VV: Yeah I’m still writing. I’ve got about 14 tracks now. But we’ve been on tour so we haven’t had time to get back to a rehearsal place. When we have time off we’re just going to concentrate on rehearsal and see what happens. It’s a complicated thing, especially with our new label situation happening, but we’re in a good situation where we’re not in a hurry to get a new album out.

EB: Being that music is an art form and artists are expected to be able to talk about their work, cite references and place it within a historical context, do you think it does the music a disservice when musicians talk about their craft solely in terms of wanting to "rock out" and don’t engage in an actual dialog about it?

VV: Well it’s hard to say. It’s like speculating about where the line exists between eroticism and porn.

EB: There’s a big difference.

VV: Yeah but where’s the line? It’s the same thing because of course, on one hand, there are bands singing about Jacuzzis and fast cars and silicone boobies and drugs. But for me personally music is a different thing, like Neil Young singing about the "Heart of Gold," emotionally speaking. So none of it’s bad but it’s very hard to say where to draw that line. And I think that you do have to draw that line. Music for me is an emotional thing and it really does make me happy. It’s not a tool for me to get fame or see my face in the papers or anything like that. It’s about the fact that I really do enjoy it. It’s about the only thing in this world that makes me happy. And that’s a big thing and I want to cherish that. It’s magic to me.

EB: When it comes to music scenes and the nature of popular rock these days in New York and in Los Angeles, this whole raw, revival rock thing is still pretty big. Where do you see HIM existing in the midst of all that nostalgia?

VV: I’m not thinking about things like that. Most of that New York stuff is shit, like Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, the Strokes, the White Stripes, Jet—even though the White Stripes and Jet aren’t from New York—you get what I mean, that whole vibe. They’re all bringing back a style of music from a different era, like 20 or 30 years ago, but they’re not mixing it up with anything new. For me personally, I don’t like it so much. We [HIM] find ourselves somewhat like a safe haven in some way, a bit outside of it all, like an Alcatraz, if you know what I mean. It’s cool when young people get into Jet and all that stuff but it’s a shame when they can’t admit all their influences. For example with Jet and that one single that’s like "Lust For Life" [Iggy Pop and the Stooges] straight on. I don’t think those people have anything to lose. What they’re doing is beautiful and they’re doing it for a reason and they shouldn’t be necessarily hiding the reason.

EB: Do you think there’s a problem with musicians being too derivative these days? I mean, having influences is a given. You’re going to. No art exists in a vacuum. But do you think it insults the music when bands don’t cite those influences openly?

VV: Well, it’s like links on the Internet. You’ve got to have links. So people can hop onto a different world from yours, and then from there a different world and through that world a different world. Then people understand that it’s a very complicated, thick cake with millions of layers. And that makes it a lot more interesting. That’s how is see it. Nobody’s doing anything so interesting these days or that unique that one particular act would be the reason to live or be everything that a person needs in his or her life, musically speaking. It’s the same thing in visual arts.


EB: Yeah, there was a conceptual and minimalist based photography movement spanning from the early 60s to early 80s that dealt with issues of appropriation where photographers began photographing existing photographs or other found images. So in visual arts it’s that same thing, everybody has references and links, so to speak. It seems a parallel in music might be song covers.


VV: Yeah there are so many different ways of looking at it. Talking about covers, whether visually or sonically, if a particular combination of notes struck a chord in your heart in a way that you want to be a part of it by covering that song, then there’s nothing wrong with it.

EB: Of course not. People adore the covers HIM has done over the years like Chris Issak’s "Wicked Game" and Billy Idol’s "Rebel Yell." What music has been able to hold your attention lately?

VV: I haven’t really been listening to a lot of stuff. The new Black Sabbath box set, I’ve been listening to that. The solo album by John Frusciante, I love that album. Mark Lannagan’s solo stuff. Some electronic stuff. Some dub reggae. I’ve always been a huge reggae fan. I love Johnny Cash but I don’t love country music that much. Some genres I’m not a huge fan of but there are always exceptions that break the rules. There are always a few people doing it in a way weird enough to grab my attention.

EB: It seems that ever since the popular rock audience got into Johnny Cash, since he did that NIN song, it seems to be more acceptable that country is leaking back into the rock genre, at least here.

VV: I think it’s the same everywhere, I think it is. The moralistic story about Johnny Cash and the whole Cash revival before his death is that you can be at a decent age and still make it. I found that positive. You don’t necessarily have to die at 27 to become a legend.

EB: Definitely not. Are you 27?

VV: Yes (laughs).

EB: Do see yourself at 80 years old in your rocking chair on your porch with your guitar?

VV: Why not? I can see that happening (laughs). Music is the thing that has been there for me since the beginning of my days. But it might be that one day I’m going to wake up and be like, "I don’t want to play guitar anymore" and instead be a cop. You never know. I don’t want to get away from all the possibilities. There are so many possibilities and different ways of wasting your time.

EB: How do you feel about music being used as a platform for things like political or religious beliefs?

VV: It’s the same with visual arts, you have some really cool, wonderful striking images that make you think and then again you have wonderful striking images that just take you away from the existing world for a second. And I like the latter a bit more. I like it being like a one way ticket out of here. That’s how I see music at its best. That’s the way it’s worked for me. That’s the thing about music that makes me happy. There’s loads of shit happening in this world and I don’t want to think about that any more than I have to. Of course I’ve got my own opinions and ideas but I don’t think that should overshadow the music. Music, for me personally, is born out of more personal, emotional things rather than political or…

EB: More inward as opposed to outward.

VV: Yeah, exactly.

EB: What does good music do for you, besides provide a sense of relief from the pressures of the everyday world.

VV: Music’s always been really cathartic. It’s the best drug for me to get away from the everyday pressures just for a second via a good song. So basically, I think music at its best can be everything. It can be totally stupid and very intellectual and emotional at the same time. I don’t think all those things shut each other out.

EB: They’re not mutually exclusive

.VV: Exactly.

EB: Let’s talk some more about the tour. Did touring again for Razorblade Romance feel redundant?

VV: I can’t complain. I don’t want to complain. It was cool to be there [in America], whatever the reason is. Whether it’s a thing we did years ago, it doesn’t matter. It was a great start there. There are loads of people who like what we do and we’re happy about it.

EB: Some artists and musicians find it hard to go back and look at their older work because all they see are the mistakes or all they hear are the things they wish they could have done differently.

VV: Yeah but there was a reason for all those mistakes to be there and all those successes to be there. That music and the lyrical aspects of Razorblade Romance is so personal to me that, now with me being grown up a bit and meeting new people and doing new things, it makes me look at the same things I was writing about back in the day through a different colored lens. Of course it can be a bit weird but I think it’s the same for any artist. Hopefully it will be possible to get all our other albums in American shops one day so if people are interested they can hear it but I’m hoping that people are going to be interested in what we are going to do, not just what we’ve done. Looking to the future. I mean, we’ve been HIM since about 1996 and we always count our previous bands as being the precursers to what we’re doing now so…

EB: It’s all pieces to the bigger puzzle.

VV: Yeah and what a weird puzzle it is. Hopefully its something that’s never going to be solved, that makes it a lot more interesting.

EB: How has the evolution been from one album to the next? Any regrets?

VV: No. There’s always reasons to make mistakes. Because then you do new mistakes next time. So they’re beautiful mistakes. No matter how hard you work on stuff back in your bedroom to get it perfect, you’re never going to do it correctly. It’s like a baby, you try different clothing on and then one day you find that when the baby is grown up that he or she wants to wear totally different clothing than what you thought originally. It’s like that with what sort of ideas people outside of the band have of HIM. They all see it through a different lens as well which is beautiful. Hopefully, it makes it an endless topic of conversation.